NHL Divisions
Now, if the inter-city travel and playing hockey in a non-bubble atmosphere, which worked so well last summer in Edmonton and Toronto, can somehow prevent outbreaks of the coronavirus, Canadian hockey fans could be in for a treat starting this week. Teams will play a compact 56-game schedule, crammed into 116 days, and not once be required to set foot in Bidenland.
Canadian teams will play only other Canadian teams, until a division champ is determined in, tentatively, late June. The matchups are delicious, as Dan Rosen of NHL.com pointed out. Alberta fans get 10 episodes of the Battle of Alberta — Flames vs. Oilers. The Habs and the Leafs will clash 10 times. Ottawa’s rambunctious Brody Tkachuk will tangle with his agitating brother, Calgary’s Matthew Tkachuk, nine times. The best two goalies in hockey, Carey Price in Montreal and Connor Hellebuyck of Winnipeg, will meet nine times. Jacob Markstrom, the long-time Canuck netminder, will face his former team nine times now that he’s a free-agent member of the Flames. Two of the game’s greatest young players, Connor McDavid of the Oilers and Auston Matthews of Toronto, will meet nine times this season. Euro superstars Patrik Laine of the Jets and Elias Pettersson of the Canucks will oppose each other nine times.
Which team or teams will emerge as the North Division’s power(s) is anyone’s guess. The season starts Jan. 13, after a shortened training camp, so it may take a month or two for the tea leaves to settle.
None of the seven Canadian teams would have been regarded as a strong Stanley Cup threat under the normal divisional and scheduling setup. Last year, Canada’s top conference finisher was Edmonton, fifth in the West. The NHL could have called this the Mediocre Division and not been too far off. Calgary, Winnipeg and Vancouver were seventh, eighth and ninth in the West last year, while the Eastern Conference teams in 2019-20 finished eighth (Toronto), 12th (Montreal) and 15th (Ottawa).
Maybe, just maybe, everything will work out as planned and the subsequent 2021-22 season can begin as the Canadian Constitution deems it should, in early October. But can we keep the North Division? Please, please?
The late Ed Chynoweth, president of the Western Hockey League, musing about resigning in the 1970s, as detailed in Gregg Drinnan’s excellent history of the WHL “It is starting to bother me that all my friends in Saskatoon are going to the airport to take flights out for winter holidays. I go to the airport and fly to Flin Flon.”
Blogger Chad Picasner, on veteran (and chubby) third baseman Pablo Sandoval: “In his day, Pablo was very good around the plate — both home plate and the dinner plate.”
Patti Dawn Swansson aka the River City Renegade, complaining about a double standard re: Sportsnet’s Elliotte Friedman analyzing NHL games last year while sporting an unruly beard: “No chance a female broadcaster would be allowed on camera with a head of hair that looks like a cluster of dead animals.”
Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, after a Steph Curry rookie card sold at auction for $611,000: “So now we have a better understanding for why the very rich need those tax break.”
ESPN broadcaster Dave Pasch, to NBCsports.com, on calling college-football games remotely from home because of COVID-19 restrictions: “At least I don’t have to wait in line for the bathroom at halftime.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: ”Rams QB Jared Goff dislocated and broke his thumb and popped it in himself and finished the game. Once I called in sick with a case of the hiccups.”
RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “An eagle in Montreal reportedly grabbed a toddler off the street only to unexpectedly drop its catch a few feet later. It was probably a Philadelphia Eagle.”
From news.com.au (Australia): “X-rated horse names just being mispronounced, Racing Australia says. Hoof Hearted unavailable for comment.”
Headline at TheOnion.com: “Report: 750,000 Americans die each year during first attempt to get back in shape.”
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Lions DB Mike Ford got penalized for taunting after teammate Jamal Agnew’s 74-yard punt return cut the Buccaneers’ lead to 40-7. They had to rule it taunting, because there’s no such thing as 15 yards for stupidity.”
• @Tierno158, via Twitter: “I tossed a Nerf football around with the neighbour kid yesterday and inadvertently won the NFC East.”
Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca
- Bruce Penton
Disclaimer: opinions expressed are those of the writer.
