FOMO works by becoming so worried that your friends are having a better time than you, so you always strive to do the same things leading to burnout. My encouragement was that by missing out, you had stories to share and thus build better relationships. Sharing your experiences with others helps establish a foundation by giving you things to talk about.
Modern culture has shifted; there is a new acronym, FOBO or “fear of better options.” The driving force here is a fear of regretting dedicating to something, lest something else more interesting comes along. This leads many people to avoid even meeting someone for lunch in case something more interesting comes up. I doubt anyone says it in so many words, but it has become a phenomenon. This creates stress for everyone involved because it also makes the person asking feel unimportant and unappreciated. It is a new issue that people need to work through in life and understand there are consequences for choices, especially the choice to keep your options open.
The basic analysis says this is driven by social media and the ever-growing desire for “something amazing” in your feed. It is a new flavour of the ancient problem of perfectionism. We believe that we can put together the perfect life. When we can compare ourselves against thousands of other people, the problem of obscurity is often insurmountable. Perfectionism often becomes paralyzing as a person seeks the best but can never guarantee the best. They are left with a never-ending calculus of what might be better as the world marches on, indifferent to who you are. In this way, many opportunities and connections are missed, and life becomes impoverished.
As Christians, we have an answer to this: we are not perfect. Perfection is an attribute of God, and God alone is perfect. We are created and finite. Our control of the world is limited at best; this is why we need God. Psalm 90:12 reminds us that we are not perfect and have limits, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (ESV) In this way, we realize any perfect day is a blessing from heaven. Thus, we should live our lives. They will never be perfect, but each day is a gift from God. We should strive to make the most of each day with those around us. This is no longer about what might be the hypothetical best, but we make the best of every opportunity. God became flesh and lived among us, not because we have a great feed, but because the relationship mattered. So, we see our relationships matter more than perfect experiences.
-Rev. Rick Shott, Nokomis Baptist Church
