But what we’ve realized is that saying the words doesn’t always convey much meaning after it has become routine.
A book called “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman says that each person gives and receives love in different ways. The main languages are: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.
My wife has told me many times that her love language is gifts. This means that she shows she cares for people through giving gifts and she also feels cared for when she receives gifts. This is incredibly hard for me. I like to sweep the floors, wash the dishes, take care of the house and car maintenance, and wash the diapers. Essentially ‘acts of service’ is my love language.
The problem is that as long as I don’t learn my wife’s love language, it is like we are speaking different languages, and neither of us is feeling the care and love that should be a part of marriage. Too many marriages fall apart once the romance dies away (after about two years, statistically speaking) because the couple relied on feelings and never got to know each other’s love languages.
I need to do better at getting my wife the right gifts. For this, I have to learn what she actually wants, I have to put time and effort into it, and I have to go shopping. For me, going shopping is a sacrifice. Relationships take sacrifice. That is a lesson for all of us, regardless of whether you are a Jesus follower or not.
I write all this because we are at the tail end of the Easter season, where we celebrate that Jesus lived, died, and came back to life. But sometimes, people ask: If Jesus is God, did He really have to die? Or could God have made an easier way to invite us into a relationship with Him?
It’s a difficult thing to try to answer because we are talking about the past, and we can always wonder if things could have been done differently. But when we look at how people receive love, we can know that if God claimed to love us, he would need to communicate it in an incredibly meaningful way. It would have to include sacrifice.
Jesus life, death and resurrection speak love through words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service in a way that nothing else could have.
So if you call yourself a Jesus follower, remember the reason for the sacrifice of Jesus’ life and death is that you may know you are valuable and loved by your Creator.
-Tim Falk
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Disclaimer: opinions expressed are those of the writer.
